Being a person is getting too complicated
Time to be a cat.
This is a walking taco. Reblog if you care.
theannoyingskwid: How could you not?!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s just that yours is stupid The road to success is always under construction. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils … - Louis Hector Berlioz Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark...
dolphins in real life (my sister wrote this)
I floated in the water, pondering my existence. Life simply didn’t appeal to me anymore. Squids were no longer delicious treats; they were simply a minor distraction from the otherwise monotonous traffic jam of life. My brethren called to me through the waves, begging me to come jump through the hula hoop with them, but I just turned away, tired of their childish, naive games. Sullenly pushing...
Gabe in "short story about Gabe and zombies"
It was a dark and slightly stormy night as Gabe walked around the corner of Caroline and William Street in the small historic town of Fredericksburg. Although most of the shops were closed there were still dozens of people wandering the streets and alleyways. Although this was not overly normal he was not overly concerned, he himself was out walking home from the concert that many of them where...
lets all get drunk and play with class four...
When you think you ate the last fry, but you check... →
New Car, New Suspicions
I recently acquired my first car. It’s a big step in life to have your first car and I’m happy as can be. Happy, happy, happy, happy, WAIT! My car might be a giant fighting robot in disguise as a car! You know, like from those movies with the cars that kill each other, you know what I’m talking about. So people of the tumblr……HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOUR CAR IS A TRANSFORMER? Please respond to tell me...
My hands have always been my greatest asset. you see I do a lot of things with my hands from playing bass guitar to rock climbing to playing video games to butterfly knifing (or something like that, I don’t know the verb form of a butterfly knife). With all of the many things I put my hands threw they get a little bit (a lot of!) collateral damage. Just recently I sliced my middle finger open...
Dear sidewalk, Please get thinner... Sincerely,...
alphadog-and-omegalomaniac asked: you suck, get a fish :3 sum time post a picture of jane with her mustachiness
This is a smart car. I want to have one but in the eyes of my father there so unsafe that me driving it in my little historical town will give me cancer and kill me. After he said this he so threatened to disembowel me and feed me to our cats if I don’t stop asking for one.
My Super Exciting Life of Adventure! Part 2.5
I meant that you ask me in the ask thing Luc! But fine! So ill write about Jane. Jane (my cute but brain-dead kitten) has an extremely cute Charley Chaplin mustache. I sometimes wonder if she is in fact the reincarnation of my favorite silent movie actor, because both of them DON’T TALK. Whenever I irritate her (by squeezing, poking, picking up, piling things on top of her while she sleeps,...
My Super Exciting Life of Adventure! Part II
So the reason I haven’t been posting things is because I have nothing to write about. I don’t actually do anything with my life. All I spend my time doing is sitting around my house watching star trek and awful animas series while playing bass guitar. So now I’m taking suggestions from YOU. Yes, for an unlimited time you can ask me questions or just demand I write about something an I will. The...
So i asked my friend Joe what the first word to pop into his head was. he said “uuuuuuuuh stripes” so now im blogging about stripes. Ill write a haiku about stripes now. That’ll keep you people happy. stripes are colorful they remind me of zebras they are parallel
Me the Musician
So on my way to school my mom was saying “Sam you have horrible acne” or something like that. I was terribly distraught, so I started singing “I am Beautiful”. when I got to school i decided to rewrite the whole song to be about my face (just for the fun of it). so without further delay, i give you “My Zits are not Beautiful” Every day is so wonderful And...
Talking to Robots
“Hello….oh hey what’s up?…just kidding, I’m not actually here leave your message at the beep.” This recording has reached my ears one too many times and now I’m pissed. Why can’t you just say “leave a message I’m a deceptive poop-face”. To all of you un-original internet people out there with your clever and extremely annoying/deceptive recorded phone messages out...
The Fourth Musketeer
On my way home from school yesterday I picked up the mail. We got lots of junk (bills, court orders, you know JUNK) two Netflix movies, my latest volume of bon appetit magazine, and for once a LETTER FOR ME! I don’t usually get letters because of my lack of friends but this was a special occasion. Ok let’s back up a little bit. About 5.7 years ago I started fencing. For those of you people out...
alphadog-and-omegalomaniac asked: why do you love fish so much
Go check out my friend luc's blog →
Old Cheese Puffs
I have always had a fondness for orange junk food. I don’t know what it is about the color orange that makes everything taste sooooo much better. So when I saw a 1 lb 7oz bucket of cheese puffs at Wawa I couldn’t resest and gave it to their orange allure. Its now a week lator and I’m nearing the bottom of my bucket-o-puffs. My hands are stained orange and I weigh 10 lb...
My Super Exciting Life of Adventure!
I have no fish.